Haven’t written here in a while…so much happened in such a short span of time. Preparations for the Acts29 boot camp. Completing that process only to find out we’re not recommended as church planters for their network. Discussing that back home with Oasis and being excited about the Gospel and an even more committed group of Christ followers ready to do the work of spreading the Gospel of Christ.
Then wham! Our long time friend and family member, Blue gets very sick with kidney failure. She has been our beloved cat for about 13 years…pretty much the entire time Derek and I have been together. We had to make tough decisions and then walk out those decisions. Derek and I said our last goodbyes to her last week and then put her to sleep on November 14. My heart still aches as I type these words. We miss her so much…still look for her every time I jump in the shower (it was one of her favorite things…showers, rain, water in any form) or anytime I walk outside, she tagged along. It’s still hard. It still hurts. I still cry.
In all of this, God is good. I believe that, I trust that. I just wish this lump in my throat and pain in my heart would stop. I know grieving is like that. I know I am loved by my husband, my family and God. I suppose the pain of grief is there to remind us of the pain and suffering of Christ on the cross. (Heresy alert! No, I am not comparing the loss of Blue to the sacrifice of Jesus just so ya know.)
The love we have received from friends and Blue’s vet office has been very touching. Especially touching were the loving remarks from other men towards Derek about their own pets. Those who have had to make the hard decisions for their families and then follow it through alone. Derek gave me that option…but I was there when he found her tottering across a sand-filled driveway, abandoned by her mother and I wanted to be there when she left us.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all the friends who cried with me and all the friends who let us know we were in their thoughts.
Time will move on. The pain will grow less and Blue’s memory will become a source of warmth, rather than pain in my heart.
Blue at her most relaxed.
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