catching up

Haven’t written here in a while…so much happened in such a short span of time. Preparations for the Acts29 boot camp. Completing that process only to find out we’re not recommended as church planters for their network.  Discussing that back home with Oasis and being excited about the Gospel and an even more committed group of Christ followers ready to do the work of spreading the Gospel of Christ.

Then wham! Our long time friend and family member, Blue gets very sick with kidney failure. She has been our beloved cat for about 13 years…pretty much the entire time Derek and I have been together. We had to make tough decisions and then walk out those decisions. Derek and I said our last goodbyes to her last week and then put her to sleep on November 14. My heart still aches as I type these words. We miss her so much…still look for her every time I jump in the shower (it was one of her favorite things…showers, rain, water in any form) or anytime I walk outside, she tagged along. It’s still hard. It still hurts. I still cry.

In all of this, God is good. I believe that, I trust that. I just wish this lump in my throat and pain in my heart would stop. I know grieving is like that. I know I am loved by my husband, my family and God. I suppose the pain of grief is there to remind us of the pain and suffering of Christ on the cross. (Heresy alert! No, I am not comparing the loss of Blue to the sacrifice of Jesus just so ya know.)

The love we have received from friends and Blue’s vet office has been very touching. Especially touching were the loving remarks from other men towards Derek about their own pets. Those who have had to make the hard decisions for their families and then follow it through alone. Derek gave me that option…but I was there when he found her tottering across a sand-filled driveway, abandoned by her mother and I wanted to be there when she left us.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all the friends who cried with me and all the friends who let us know we were in their thoughts.

Time will move on. The pain will grow less and Blue’s memory will become a source of warmth, rather than pain in my heart.

Blue at her most relaxed.

Blue at her most relaxed.

[caption id="attachment_71" align="alignright" width="120" caption="A content Blue."]A content Blue.[/caption]

assessment and the meaning behind it all

The time is getting closer to our assessment with the Acts29 Network of church plants.  We attend the October conference in St. Louis and will spend the last day being assessed as church planters.

I have listened to nearly every Mark Driscoll message out there.  I have laughed till I cried, I have wept till I couldn’t breathe and I know that God is in our lives, in our ministry and in our marriage.  And for some odd reason, I find great security in that.  I find great peace and contentment in the knowledge of the Kingdom picture.  That’s definitely new for me.  I’m more of an “in the moment” kinda gal.

I think I am looking forward to meeting other people who have a similar “demographic” as we do.  We’re not inner-city, we’re not a “downtown” kinda area, we’re not even suburban by definition.  We’re in a county surrounded by 160,000 blue collar workers with incomes on the low side of middle income.  Football is a religion, shopping is nobody’s pastime, and Budweiser is how you spell relaxation.

We’re smack in the middle of a country music video with achy-breaky-big mistakey-haircuts.  The people here work hard, very hard – nearly every home is two income.  Their weeks are filled with jobs, taking kids to various activities and shopping for food to feed them all.  These families love one another, love their community and would like to love their neighbors.  They’ve just never met them.  They don’t make to time to meet them.  They live in an area 25 years and don’t know their next-door neighbor, because it’s not something we do today.

I love our community.  I love the people around here.  They work hard all week and spend the weekends caring for their homes, their yards and trying to squeeze in a movie or sporting event. 

They need Jesus…and they need Him desperately.  Our neighbors are lonely, but fearful.  They’re friendly, but distant.  They’re in need of the truth and how it will set them free from their burdens.  We have reached out our hands to our neighbors and while it’s been kinda weird for everyone…they’re starting to reach back.

At our assessment in October, I feel like we’re representing more than just our community.  I know there are other areas with similar people, similar lifestyles.  I pray we can share our stories, gain encouragement and learn to keep our ears to the ground, listening to the heartbeat of our own community.

It’s weird, but assessment sounds so personal to me.  My temperament will be assessed and then they will determine if I do indeed possess the character that exhibits Christ in my life.

I will be given the approval from a group of men so that I may go out to spread the good news of Jesus Christ.   Wait a minute….didn’t I get that already?  Some guy about 2,000 years ago said something about going out … hmmm

titus 2 and the highly functional female

How many times have you heard women talk about how tired they are, worn out, burnt out, overwhelmed and devastated their lives are. And how many times have we, as listeners bothered to go beyond lip service in the lives of the women in such need of comfort or encouragement?

God created me as a woman with the capacity to love, to have responsibilities, to have great integrity and to worship. And when I say “capacity,” I don’t mean that in a mandatory way, but in a more qualifying manner. I don’t have to…I get to.

Women today work inside and outside the home, they raise their children, they plan menus, cook meals, clean an entire house, take care of laundry, coach sports, help with homework and at the end of the day, they need 4 more hours to get it all done. No wonder so many are overwhelmed and frustrated. No wonder women are not in bible studies and feel left out on the fringe, alone and dying.

Women have the capacity to do “it all.” God created us this way. However, God did not create us to do it alone. And I’m not talking about blaming our husbands – there’s enough of that going on in our culture without our help. I’m speaking about other women, other sisters in Christ. I’m talking about Titus 2. And not the Titus 2 where we sit down once a week, drink coffee and memorize a bible verse or turn our time into a support group for whining and complaining about our spouses.

I’m talking about Titus 2 where women live in community. The Titus 2 that allows us as sisters, to share ourselves with helpful suggestions, meaningful recommendations and counsel beyond the 7 Habits Of A Highly Functional And Angry Female. The kind of relationships that sanction our involvement in each others lives – not as an authority in each others business – but an involvement that we can walk out to the glory of God and to the delight of a well-managed home. (you know what I’m talking ’bout.)

I know it is not a normal occurrence in my life. I know that while my lips give service to the words of Jesus regarding the “one another’s” of scripture, my actions do not always follow those words. I need help and I have the privilege to give help.

Women are more tired from isolation than they are from interaction. Women tire at the thought of the to-do list at home. But, these women can get energized from those same to-do lists when they know their sisters in Christ are a phone call away to help or serve them.

Titus 2 is not a club, not a sorority, not a private society. It is sharing our lives as sisters in Christ. It is sharing the burden of managing our homes and caring for our families even in the course of employment inside or outside the home. Titus 2 is for our edification, our encouragement and also our admonition.

I pray the women of Oasis will continue to share this distinctive within and with-out our community.

everything goes back to the garden

It probably started about a year ago for me (earlier for more scholarly types), but this fact finally settled inside me. It took hold of my thinking and as I moved through life, I found it to be unbelievably true. It was just too simple, almost childlike in concept.

The sins we battle today, the problems we encounter, the issues we face can all be traced back to the garden. Back to the original sin that took place there and ultimately the consequences of that sin handed down by God. Many people call this the curse, however I can’t seem to find God cursing anything but the serpent and the ground for which man will toil.

I don’t believe we are cursed, but we do have to deal with the consequences of that original sin. Everyday. Which is why we desperately need our Lord and Savior.

One of the hot topics of today is the feminization of the church and/or why men don’t go to church.

The church building is too foo-foo. The church building has too many flowers. The worship music is played in keys too high for my voice. The pictures of Jesus are too girly. Everything about the church is done for women.

Seriously? This is what keeps men from church? Flowers and kleenex? When did so many men become such gutless wimps?

The fact is that men, in general haven’t stepped up the ladder to lead in various ministries, so women have filled that gap. However, when men do put their feet on the bottom rungs, women are the first ones to get their hackles up because men are trying to “rule over” what we’ve already done and the fear of being subjugated takes over. The past abuse of authority in the lives of women is still too fresh for many to grow beyond.

So here we are…back to the garden.

The man said, ““The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.”” (Genesis 3:12)

The woman You gave me decorated the church with foo-foo and flowers and put kleenex boxes on the chairs and I am making You responsible via her actions for my problem.

Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, ““Did God actually say, ‘‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’’?”” (Genesis 3:1)

Men gave over their responsibilities and we took on leadership (and headship for many) and now, we’re supposed to just bow down and let them have it back? That can’t possibly be what’s written in Your word. No man will ever rule me.

Family issues today.
Marriage problems.
Church divisions about men/women roles in church.
Cultural norms.
All of it…traces back to the garden.

The results in our lives today?
Unaccountability,
Abdicating leadership.
Usurping authority.
Rebellion.
Pride.

I am very thankful for a husband like Derek, who loves God more than he loves excuses. A man who clearly sees what God intended for him from the beginning. A man who can tuck in his shirt, zip up his own pants and walk the path of a Godly man. He isn’t emasculated over a flower pot. He isn’t threatened by worship music. He doesn’t even care about the color of the walls.

He is a godly man in service to the most high God. He is setting an example for other men, who will in turn set the example for other men and so forth and so on.

And my advice to women? If your man is at the bottom rung of the ladder, he can’t get to the top with you standing in his way. You want a godly man to lead? Be a godly woman and let him.

impact of the spiritual

What if this is your welcoming committee upon entering the kingdom of heaven:

Convicted felon now teaching bible studies
Meth addicts now praising God
Angry sons and daughters now filled with God’s love
Suicides now sitting at the banquet feast
Adulterers who are forgiven
Rebellious teen turned missionary
Serial killers reconciled to God

I recently viewed a video titled, Cardboard Testimonies. Powerful stuff. Thought provoking. And, in the moment, life changing.

I say “in the moment” because as soon as the next life altering crisis or trauma enters my life, that video will be forgotten. I might remember it as I’m falling asleep, but the impact this video has in my life will not be as weighty as its content warrants.

There are a handful of powerful videos, songs and messages that impact me intensely as I’m watching/listening to them. Every single time. But it would seem that the effect stops there. I don’t carry the message of impact with me into my everyday life. I feel greatly moved, deeply touched and then WHAM! The phone rings, the cat meows or someone else needs to be served and the message of hope and love I was just immersed in is like a vapor in the wind. It’s gone. Just like that.

What is wrong with me? Am I so weak-minded that I can’t stay focused and meditate on these things? Am I so weak-willed that I allow other issues to cloud my mind?

Or…does God have me right where He wants me so that “none may boast…” When I do finally become a mature Christian, it will be so blatantly obvious that it was all due to His work in me, that I am able to do nothing but point others to my Lord and Savior?

Of course, the last option would be my choice. It is, after all the “holy” answer. The answer that makes me feel better about the blackness of my heart. The answer that allows me to continue in the same manner I am, displacing all the pressure of results on God alone.

What do we do with the impact of the worshipful in our lives? How do we share it with others when we can’t get it to stick in our own lives?

I struggle with these things. A lot. I want to be God’s vessel for change, for ministry, for furthering His kingdom. But I’m not sure if I’m the willing vessel for God or simply the vessel of convenience for the emotionalism of this human body.

passion re-defined

When Christians say or hear the word passion, a few specific things come to mind.

The Passion of Christ – as so vividly demonstrated in the recent movie. Or this question, What is your passion or calling with regard to ministry?

I’m speaking of the latter in today’s blog.

I remember being asked that question many years ago and trying to figure out what it meant. What was I passionate about? What did I get excited about, what rejuvenated me, etc. I always thought it was women’s ministry since the programs, the studies, the events all fit under the banner of women’s ministry and it was really all I knew.

After many years of thinking this way, I just got so frustrated with the same programs, studies and events. Wondering why women were not being reached.

what was wrong with them?
or me?
or anything aside from the actual program, study or event?

Because it couldn’t possibly be those things. Those things had been meticulously thought out by people smarter and much more holy than me. Thought out, put in writing, correlated, stapled, glued and packaged into a neat box, ready to implement with a group of willing women.

Then another epiphany. I seem to be getting these closer together and somewhat more obvious, so the end must truly be near.

But I digress…

I heard an amazing and clarifying word from the Lawd via Shawn Maze, the founding pastor at Sanctuary. An amazing group of people who love the Lord with a great passion.

He spoke of passion in terms of dying for something. Serious terms of being so passionate about something, you would be willing to forfeit your life for it.

Wow.

Jesus did it. That must be why it’s called His Passion. He loved us and was so passionate about the Father, that Jesus died for it. For us.

Well, I can tell you. That changes the way I view my passion for anything now. I am surely not willing to die for a program or a study or even an event. I am not willing to die for a building or a tradition. I’m not even certain I’d die for an ideal or even the baby seals, no matter how many signatures were on the petition.

But I would put my life on the line for the Truth. The Truth that is Jesus. The truth that is the body of Christ.

So, what am I passionate about? What would I be willing to sacrifice my life for?

It goes without saying that I would give up my life for my husband, my children, my grandchildren, my parents, my brother and sister and any other family member.

However, I wanted to talk about the non-obvious…

I am passionate about those women who have been shot in the foot by other Christians. Those women who have been dissed by their Christian sisters in the name of homeschooling or some other ridiculously unbiblical cliche. And no…homeschooling is not unbiblical but making it a cliche to keep others out most certainly is.

I’d put my life on the line for those women who suffer, those women who stumble through life just looking for a kind word, a loving smile and genuine relationship.

My passion is for women who don’t know what they’re missing when they focus on anything but Jesus. When they find greater satisfaction in things of this world than their Lord and Savior.

My passion is for those dear sisters who don’t know that they are loved. They don’t know that others feel what they feel. Other women have been through what they have been through.

And through it all…they are loved by a God with a passion for them. A passion that I finally get. A passion that has now been adequately defined.

A passion for redemptive relationships.

first storm of the battle

Have you ever had one of those defining moments? An epiphany of sorts, a sudden and intuitive realization.

One that was undeniable, even undesirable and yet you knew something had changed..

There was no warning. No forethought of the dark clouds. No anticipation of any change in temperature. Just one of those storms that rumbles in and astounds you with it’s ferocity. You find yourself in the aftermath of broken branches and overturned flower pots – wondering what happened? Where did all that come from?

Storms are not fun, they wreak havoc in our lives while they are moving through. They can cause panic, anxiety, even physical pain. Storms are no picnic. But storms do clear out the cobwebs, dust off the dirt and leave us with a sense newness that we get to re-group, re-think and possibly re-do in preparation for the next one.

James 1:2 Count it all joy, my brothers, [2] when you meet trials of various kinds, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing……12 Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.

Today I look behind me at the storm that has already passed, and the piles of brokenness left behind. Piles of emotions that just sit there, waiting on the spiritual cleansing that only God can give. Not understanding why some storms carry considerable debris within them and why so much is left behind rather than being washed away clean.

Then there it is.

That wonderful smell. The aroma of protection, the scent of relief. The wonderful smell of clean air and rain, wet grass, wet pavement, wet dirt and maybe even a wet cat. (Okay, maybe not the cat.)

But you can’t deny there is definitely a smell when the rains are gone and the coolness of the water drips from every leaf. There is a cleanness that wasn’t there before the storm. There is a freshness that has been uncovered.

Derek has been heard to say on many occasions, “I’ve not heard of anyone receiving Christ right after winning the lottery.”

Nope, we are drawn to God in the midst of our thunderstorms. During those spiritual flashes that remind us of the Gospel and bring us back to the Truth. The storms that bring us to our knees in confession, repentance, adoration and selflessness.

This first storm of the spiritual battle has come and gone. I am stronger for it and I’m healthier because of it. I get it now. The storms are for my benefit. They are actually a grace shown to me by God for the protection of His people. I can’t attack a storm with wind and rain, but I can certainly stand strengthened under the protective cover of God’ word.

Something has changed. An epiphany has happened. I am more aware of being made in His image and not in the image of “approval” or the “fear of man.” I am a new creation in Christ. My position is one of spiritual authority over satan and is supported by the unity within the Body of Christ.

The battleground might be invisible, but it is definitely real and it is now.

community of saints

What does that mean? Is it limited to a local body of believers? Is it a label we use to describe church membership? What exactly does the term, Community of Saints bring to mind?

1 John 3:11-18 11 For this is the message that you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another. 12 We should not be like Cain, who was of the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own deeds were evil and his brother’s righteous. 13 Do not be surprised, brothers, that the world hates you. 14 We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers. Whoever does not love abides in death. 15 Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.

16 By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. 17 But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? 18 Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. (Emphasis mine)

This is what community is. This is what community will be at Oasis. The body of Christ, the community of saints, in my opinion is not limited to membership or tithing or some other prerequisite that tradition dictates. If a fellow brother or sister in the Lord has a need that I have been made aware of, then I am responsible to an Almighty God to take action regardless of their religious or denominational affiliation.

On a random rant, I am so grieved and angry (maybe even righteously so) that so many of the churches today give lip service to community, give lip service to serving their members, give lip service to pretty much all of the “one anothers” in scripture, but can’t be bothered with actually doing anything about it. Living in community is not convenient, it might take a sacrifice or two. Do you think Jesus with His arms outstretched on the cross knows exactly how ya feel? duh…

Make the willing sacrifice, do what God has commanded you to do and get over your pettiness.

Isn’t that the very core of the Community of Saints? Living life out loud. Sometimes, very loud – warts and all. We work alongside each other in ministry and service to others and to each other. We do it with a genuine love. Not because it is a duty, but because it is a privilege to do so as a fellow brother or sister in the Lord.

The expectation of spiritual attacks in our daily lives as Christians becomes almost normal as we mature. Unfortunately, the origin of those attacks can take us by surprise. And the personal affect of those attacks can break our hearts and destroy relationships.

The love and community we will be sharing throughout Oasis might sometimes be misunderstood. But it will be up to us as the body of believers to remain strong, steadfast and filled with compassion for those we are loving on, living with and serving.

I can’t wait!

if we are the body

I read one magazine. Only one. Real Simple and yes, I do take a little too much pride in the fact of buying just one magazine per month. Course, that one magazine is like $5 or something ridiculous.

This months edition has a great article in it about improving relationships by listening. I mean it. It’s very practical, simple language, great application. So why does that article set my teeth a little on edge? Why do I wish that magazines and other such publications would just stick to issues of politics and economics or the latest recipe of the month?

Because…

Because in my most personal of opinions, Christians should be the ones leading the pack and demonstrating to the world how to improve relationships. Seriously, we have the owner’s manual for it and yet, how many times is a Christian the last person we want to hear from regarding relationships. Why is that?

What have we, as a church culture, so misrepresented to the world that it’s not even interested in asking us about our lives or our convictions?

Well, let’s see …

Do our marriages show Jesus as alive and well? When’s the last time you heard a wife (even in a church setting) say something nice about her husband in a public way and not quickly apologize for it. Many women feel embarrassed that their marriages are good. It’s far too trendy to complain about everything. How many women would be so blessed to hear about how wonderful marriage is, how strong the committment is and how loved they feel.

Do we as parents show Jesus to our children? Has anyone ever heard a parent or anyone else, for that matter say something good about a teenager. What we normally hear are groans and mutterings and a little fear slipping into our lives when it comes to the dreaded teen years. I’ve done it myself. Someone tells me they have a teenager and I’ve found myself responding with a humorous, “I’m so sorry…” That might get a smile, but it’s certainly not very godly. Has anyone bothered to actually have a conversation with a teenager without turning it into a debate. Teens love to talk about fashion, music, sports, where they might live after they leave home…anything. Just let them talk. And then shut up.

Do we as Christians love our neighbors? Do we really? Would you be willing to drive a neighbor to work for a week if they lost their car? Would you include them in your meals for a month, if their health went downhill? Would you do more than wave, more than a fleeting prayer, more than a dismissive “how are ya” when you see them? All this without a bitter thought, an angry comment or some harbored resentment.

Do we as Christians love the Lord? Openly, with conviction and without reservation?
I have a book study every other week at a local coffee shop. Along with my book, I also bring my bible. There has been a time or two when walking into the crowded shop, I’ve thought to minimize the fact that I have a bible in my hand. Even if I don’t do anything about it, I still have the thought of wondering if anyone is staring at the lady with the huge purse and big bible. What’s that all about?

I don’t know why. I love the Lord. I’m not afraid to pray in public. I’m not afraid to talk about Jesus. So why…why does that initial entrance just make me twinge ever so slightly?

hmmmm ::evasive maneuver:: well, that’s enough about me…

Back to the original thought of something about magazines and Christians having the owner’s manual. Oh yeah…

What does it say? Open it up, read it, check the index for words that lead to verses that in context, will help you grow. Become convicted. Have spiritual conversations.

If we want to impact our communities, we gotta get our hearts right. We have to learn to listen to people with real interest, with a genuineness of heart and spirit. Listen to their emotions, listen to what is left unspoken. Get rid of the scarlet letters and targets on their foreheads. Allow our marriages to be examples, allow our teens to serve and take ownership in our church body and community.

Let us, as His Body be the dearest place on earth.

I love this song by Casting Crowns – Derek and I were singing it on the way to dinner and a movie Saturday. It’s perfect for today.

yes, yes, I stole the dearest place on earth from CJ Mahaney…although, I’m sure he won’t mind.

messy people

Sometimes, in our Christianeze way of talking, we stumble across a phrase or description that actually says what we want to say. I’ve heard the terms marginalized, fringe, unchurched, etc. and somehow those terms don’t sound very God-glorifying. But as a people, we do love our labels and categories. Helps us make sense of the messiness of life.

As for me, I embrace the phrase, “messy people.” I love it. Probably because I’m messy. Not physically, although I do make a mess when I cook. But I mean more emotionally messy or things happening in my life that can be messy. Even my relationships are messy. I don’t always say the right things to people, I don’t always glorify God with my speech and I don’t always have my heart right in matters that well…matter.

So I repent and start over. Daily.

Back to my sphere of messy people. I love them all. The messier, the better. The messier, the more honest the relationship. The messier, the more transparent we are. The messier, the more we express our need for a Lord and Savior.

And I desperately want Jesus in all of my life.

Messy people readily acknowledge they don’t have the answers, they don’t have a clue most of the time. Messy people just love the Lord and try to cling to one another, stumbling, falling and supporting one another through this life. We cling to the truth that is our hope. We cling to the community God has provided for us. And we glorify Him in the process. It may not be pretty, it might even be covered with tattoos or piercings, or have a strange hair color, but it’s genuine. It’s real and of course…it’s forever messy.

When the Lord called me, He received me just as I am – despairing and chaotic. But now that I know His truth, I am responsible for that truth in my life and I should be striving to boldly walk out my salvation with fear and trembling. Does that prevent messiness? No, but it is a beautiful reminder of my need for a Savior, everyday, in all of life.

Our Father calls to Himself messy people and He has allowed us the opportunity to have a heart close to His with a passion for the lost, a passion for His kingdom.

A passion for messy people. A passion for His people. That is the bottom-line, no-frills or fancy theological statement of our proposed church plant. It’s simple.

Even a messy person such as myself can remember it. Can I get an Amen from the messy people over in the corner!

Thank you Jesus by Keith Green is a powerful ending to today’s blog:

Thank You Jesus, for what you’re doing for me,
Thank you Jesus, I want the whole world to see,
That you’re not just a picture on the wall in my room,
That you’re faster than lightning, and you’re coming back soon.

Thank you Jesus, for all the good things you do,Thank you Jesus, I wish they all could know you,
That you’re not just a book collecting dust on the shelf,
And if they don’t want to read it, you’re gonna be back to tell them yourself.

I don’t understand, why my fellow man, had to turn away,
From all the good things that you say,
They’re still trying to find a better way, but you know they won’t,
Unless they invent one, then we’ll have to patent it.

Thank you Jesus, for all the good things you’ve done,
Thank you Jesus, I really want to tell you Lord,
I’m having so much fun, loving You.

Thank you Jesus, for this here smile on my face,
I really want to shout it to the whole Human Race,
That you’re not just this building on the corner where we meet,
They can know You in person, You’re a pleasure to meet.

Thank you Jesus, Oh thank you Jesus,
Thank you Jesus, I only want to thank you Jesus,
I don’t care what they say,
They’re gonna call you a cliché,
I’m gonna love you anyway!

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