My first real posting and already, I’m taking a detour. While this post probably has little to do with the Journey to Oasis, the heart behind it does.
My heart aches. My heart aches for those young women out there who are not called to be single and yet have not met the man God is pruning just for them. It’s a long road to be sure, the waiting, the longing, the anticipation that can make you catch your breath each time an introduction is made to someone unattached and available. I wonder that there must be a constant thought in the backs of these women’s minds of “wow, could this be it” or “should I pursue a friendship in hopes that God has prepared this one just for me.”
My heart aches for those, who in the midst of this pursuit, have given up on God, have directed the blame for their singleness towards God, have forgotten that God is indeed, the One in charge. Some have become complacent or rather, settled into a life that will soon bring with it bitterness of soul and hardness of heart towards the one true God. In their minds, their contentment with God rests solely upon the assumed promise of marriage.
Possibilities on one hand. Contentment with God on the other. I can hear the still, small voice of God saying, “choose wisely.” I pray these young women hear it as well. Their desire to be married is a good one. Their pursuit of godliness with the hope of marriage and someone to share their lives with is also good. It is when our sinful and selfish nature demands our “right” to be married or that somehow, marriage will make us whole before God that presents itself as the hurdle to overcome.
To add a note that has been in the back of my mind as I write this…not all single women are young. Not all single women fall into our neatly defined age groups. Many women have been single for most of their lives. I think of Dr. Anita J. Cooper (she was single the last time I spoke to her) who directs the Bible Teaching program at Columbia International University. Dr. Cooper also speaks at women’s retreats and counsels many of her female students with wisdom and guidance on how to glorify God within their personal circumstances and in all of life.
Carolyn McCulley is probably one of the most popular younger woman in ministry serving the single community. Her book, Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? Trusting God with a Hope Deferred gives testament to the hope of the Cross above the desire of marriage. Tough words and tougher love.
I’m not sure how many single women find any hope in the acknowledgment that both of these women give to a life of singleness. For those that do, I would ask if they are looking to these women for hope or are they looking (and I mean truly looking) to the Cross as the only real hope we have. The hope that is Jesus Christ. The hope that is ours in our freedom founded on the Gospel. The hope that being single is not a curse, it is not a punishment. It is exactly what it is and nothing more. It is where your loving Father has you right now, firmly in His grip, never letting go.
The idea of giving encouragement to single women can be daunting. Many single women view encouragement as patronizing, especially from someone who is married. Many don’t want to reveal just how heavy their hearts are with this self-induced burden. Many are just sad and desperately lonely. There are probably no words, nothing that will convey the hope of the Gospel more than a tender heart and gentle hug.
To all my single sisters….I love you. I pray that your hearts be so over-filled with the love and contentment of Christ, there is room for nothing else. That your lives reflect the goodness of His glory.
Psalm 51:12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.
peacemakingirl